/hug

well, i came out at 27.  my parents live far from me and i’m not dependent on them.  this meant that i had a lot of control over coming out to them and i had space to stop engaging with them when i needed to.  if you’re younger, you might not have those things.  i would say its still better to come out if you think you can bring them around.  sometimes people surprise you.  i would make sure you have some supportive people around you though.  maybe get an older friend who understands about trans issues to talk to your parents.  because educating your parents while they lash out and stumble through saying hateful shit is really difficult.  so like, get some help from people who you can trust who know your parents if you can.

as far as society’s expectations, there is a lot of real pressure for any woman to present in a hyperfeminine way.  this pressure is a lot greater for trans women because people may not see us as our gender at all unless we present that way.  i notice that a lot of trans women present in a hyperfeminine way at first, for safety and to be validated.  but a lot of us, as we get a little more comfortable, find our way to a more authentic presentation.  i like being femme.  but you can also be butch and still be a woman.  you should think not only about how you want to live as a woman, but think about what KIND of woman you want to be.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3