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Here’s a video from our Internetting While Female panel with Carolyn Petit, Katherine Cross and I at GaymerX last week.

it makes me sad that i don’t see her more, but i’m glad katherine is off being brilliant at all the conferences.  definitely worth watching to hear smart women talk about video games and their experience analyzing video games.

i’ve been thinking about women, transition, and the infantilization of women.  i feel that i often hear trans men talk about being women or little girls previous to transitioning - girls who grow up to be men.  similar phrasing, ‘boys or men who grow up to be women’ by contrast, often sets trans women on edge.  i don’t have data on this, just personal observation.

lately, i’ve been wondering about the way that our culture infantilizes women and formulates men as adults - full and actualized humans.  i wonder if the relative comfort some trans men display with language like ‘manning up’ or talking about their ‘female history’ relates to this infantilization.  transition for trans guys doesn’t explicitly challenge the notion that manhood a is full and actualized adulthood while womanhood is a prolonged state of childhood or innocence.  in contrast, transition for trans women would violate this narrative by moving us into a full, developed self as a woman having previously (for some of us) held some outward form of manhood (although i can’t stress how laughable i find it to think about any previous ‘manhood’ or masculinity i was compelled to express).

its not that i am blaming trans men for infantilization of women, but i’m curious about how this idea about women interacts with the way that cis people and cisnormative society responds to our transitions and thus what language we find ourselves bristling at or not.

my body has pretty much always wanted to do a sleep cycle where i’m awake for like 36 hours and then asleep for like 12.  with the night job, i find that i’m often on a 24 hours awake, 4-6 hours asleep schedule.

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